i've been thinking alot these few days . since exams are over and i've now got much more time to think about stuffs . anyway , tmr my relatives will be coming to ma hus to pay respect to my daddeh . (:
you know when i was 9 , my father had a heart attack and was sent to ICU . i already had a feeling my dad will not live for long , i thought of the future like how'd my family be without my father . sadly 3 years later , this day did came . my dad left us and the worst thing is that we didnt get to see/hear his last words . i was lucky somehow as i've got a kind hearted indian form teacher whom i lost contact with after i left school . ): she talked to me , put faith in me till i did quite okay for psle even though at that time i got into a friendship problem . i was so hurt cos of rumours about me about my family about the insult on my dad incident , it really caused me a major breakdown , people whom i trusted backstabbed me , and even turned into a hypocrite . now , im really sensitive to every single thing . fuck . moved on and no , i dont think my family knows about this . lets hope that they dont read this post . sigh . i thought i was the unluckiest kid but then ever since i met baby , he shared his childhood story with me .
he had a mental&abusive father and passed away when he was 11 . and now he have a step dad and they dont get along with each other . well im not that unlucky after all (: at least i have a united family , kind and thoughtful relatives , and cousins that brightened my life even more (: now i've got B , he made me feel that im special , special in my own unique ways (: and made me feel that i should treasure my life and myself more (: and no one made me feel this way before , NEVER . not even the ones who told me they love me . you really made my day everytime . when im down you cheer me up or even when im not down you made me even more happier . there was a period of time when i was really stress , im so glad you were there for me . im sorry for hitting/beating/punching you to relieve stress. you really really made me felt so much better , awww and you even said you dont mind me hitting you . :D i love you so much R . (: i guess i shall work on my fitness soon B kept asking me to exercise and be fit so that i can protect myself when he is not with me . kept psychoing me ta study and train my fitness . aiyaaa i will one luh dont worreh :DDD have some faith in me babehs . yeah , and im beginning to see the real world . cock it .
favourite songs [:
cos this is the real world , im not a lil girl . i know exactly who i am
La da da da da The smell of your skin lingers on me now You're probably on your flight back to your home town I need some shelter of my own protection baby To be with myself and center Clarity, peace, serenity
[chorus:] I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, myself and I We've got some straightenin' out to do And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket But I've got to get a move on with my life It's time to be a big girl now And big girls don't cry Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry
The path that I'm walking, I must go alone I must take the baby steps till I'm full grown, full grown. Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they? And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
