Y because i suck .
never did i expect you to have left such a touching tag in my guestbook (which is private) . it totally made my day , i was so touched im loss of words . really . You know what ? i dont hate you neither do i dislike you at all , nobody wanted him to die on that day . I can only use one word to describe myself in the past , childish . i dont blame you for not having to see his last face or breath . c'mon i was only 12 back then , still young and still a shallow person . All i ever wanted that moment was to turn back time . Anywayzxcst , You've been a great bestfriend and a great playmate to me too even though we went through shitloads of misunderstandings haha (somehow i do miss those carefree yet childish times with you )

Don't be so pessimistic too ok, do it for your family Your mom who tries to live on for the family ( im sure ) and ur sister who tries to support the family

and yes , i'll look on the bright side of life i have a super mom , a egoistic brother cos i die die know he cares for me just that he appears not to be and a sister who dotes on me . nevertheless , great uncles and aunties who have been giving me all the luxury in life . also , friends who cares for me / love me(idk who ? prolly none also i guess haha) , new friends that i've made in secondary school (1E1 2E1 3E2 ABC i love them all lah ) , and i have the bestest girlfriend in the world JIO JIO TENG LI LI

you see , i dont want people to portray me as a depressed emotional fatherless kid . no harm to envy people who have a happy family right ? i mean , even if they're not happy , at least their fathers would be able to watch them grow , know how much they have scored for their O levels and see them get married in the future but me ? my father didnt even see me getting my PSLE results or watch my siblings graduate from poly/uni . even though steven may not be around anymore , he'll always be the hero in my heart .

i love you , very very much .

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physic's spa was a total bitch . the standard was totally different from chem . i suck . i didnt draw my graph , i did the wrong steps & i took 3 readings only . i was stucked , and the lab was goddamn hot everyone looks sweaty . anywayzxcst its over and done with , it only takes 5% of my o level , i have 2 more pracs to go next year . God Bless ME . amen .

sometimes i feel like the world is gonna crumble and fall on me ... because ..because i suckkk . im not a good daughhhter , not a good friend , not a good lover . i suck . i suck . i suck . i suck . i suck . i suck . i suck . i suck . i suck so much , that i could just bleed and die . its hard trying to forget some stuffs . it do hurt me alot . well i guess some things are better left unsaid . the fear of trusting certain people ... ): what kind of world is this man .


i do noticed that people portray me as a girl who always laughs , laugh with jio jio esp , and it made people mistook us for laughing at them idky it happened countless times . im always a listening ear to my friends and always give advices to them yet i couldnt help myself . i suck . And , after all the bullshit i've been going thru , im almost immune to my screwed up life already . dont ask why so its because i've told you , i suck .

im trying hard not to blog about misery , but i still did . im sucha loser . i suck .

listen to good music , listen to trance . Freee my mind because i suck

goodbye and goodnight .

Y